diasporawedding

“….and though your careers may see you spend time apart let it be hoped that you are never separated for more days than you can count upon the beads”

They understand. The smiles had been hoped for, the hugs unexpected though very welcome and in that moment I feel less of an observer and more of a participant. Their love for each other has been obvious throughout, one with ironclad determination, the other with passion and intensity. So different but complimentary not clashing. Iron and Fire, together making something stronger than either alone, something unbreakable.

The small gestures, the regular glances, the almost unconscious support, ever present but rarely noticed consciously. Even though they may not notice it others sense it, the feelings spread, catching others in the maelstrom of emotions. Love becomes hope, hope for the future, hope for something better, that hope grows to become compassion, compassion creates bonds which in turn may grow into love and so the cycle renews.
And then there is the other side of the coin where love becomes fear, fear for what may be lost, fear that what they have will never be felt and from there branching out into ever more complex sensations anger, jealousy, introspection, memories awoken and dreams remembered.

Some believe that such emotions, such feelings are a weakness, that they betray the rational mind and lead to mistakes. I know that they are wrong. They are our strength, when used correctly they are what makes us what we are, allows us to do what we must and what we should. More than what we learn they define us, for it is they that determine how we use what we learn.

Curiosity, anger, passion, fear, love, hate, they are all present, all of them and so many more. Some easily seen, some hidden though not invisible. Some desperately fighting to be brought forth but needing a calm, caring hand, some needing only the lightest touch to find a release through which to show themselves and escape.
I feel them resonate with my own feelings and for a moment I lose myself in thoughts of what was lost so long ago, before the sadness can strike it is replaced by something else, a much more recent memory one which carries hope and danger, the touch of that which is forbidden and that which is impossible, a dream for someone else. A weakness or a strength only time will tell for although such things can be channeled they cannot be undone and should not be repressed.

Perhaps the news has affected me more than I had hoped, this place, wonderful though it is, not conducive to the quietening which is needed under the circumstances.
Deep breaths, a sense of focus and calm. A shape external and internal, body mirroring mind.

I scan the room searching for the unseen, gauging whether anyone is in need, whether I can provide for them or could intervene to ensure they are provided for.